1. today is the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll be ever again. 10

2. the object of golf is to play the least amount of golf. 9

3. the sinking of the titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen. 8

4. waterboarding at guantanamo bay sounds super rad if you don’t know what either of those things are. 7

5. the person who would proof read hitler's speeches was literally a grammar nazi. 6

6. you don't have to check your phone to find out if it's sunny outside. 5

7. loving someone who doesn't love you is like waiting for a boat at the airport. 4

8. you are free to choose but not free from the consequences of your choice. 3